Everything I Ever Needed to Know I Learned from the Deutsch Family...

Lots of interesting stuff to share with you guys. I'm running on very little sleep after a VERY busy day, but since I don't want to go to sleep with wet hair (I don't need to get even sicker), I figured I'd take a few minutes to share all this cool stuff. Also, please consider the fact that this are just my observations - I'm not taking any of this to be true - so please correct me or give me your own opinion:

1. you know the evolution vs. creation debate? ya, not necessarily 2 seperate things. On the 5th day G-d creates the fishes and animals and such. But the translation (according to the Tanach I was using earlier) says "Let the waters teem with teeming living creatures". The animals that G-d creates come from the waters, just as evolution (from what I remember from science class) says all living organisms evolved from the water.

2. some number stuff - the Jews walked for 40 years in the desert, Noah's Ark floated along for 40 nights, and every time Moses went up the mountain to chat with G-d, he was up there for 40 days at a time. Why? Because 40 days is how long it takes for a metamorphoses. And 3 days (seen in the Jonah story and the Akidah) represents the amount of time needed to make a decision.

3. The story of Jonah is read on Yom Kippur. What was Jonah swallowed by? Nope! Not a whale, but a FISH! A really big FISH! For those not up to date on the story, Jonah is told to make his prophecy to a group of people, and he's like "No Thanks, I'd rather not" and G-d is like "haha, that's what you think" and the story is spent with Jonah acting out against G-d trying to go against G-d, but fulfilling G-ds wishes "accidentally" (cuz, you know, G-d is like, totally in charge when it comes down to it). The story itself is written really crazy with all these parallels and when you're done reading it, you're like "so how am i supposed to believe that Jonah was actually hanging out in the belly of a fish for 3 days?" And "why are the animals repenting and wearing sackcloth and fasting with the people?" WELL, you know how G-d said Jonah was going to have to make a prophecy? He does! By writing this story! In the end he does his prophecy through his story that teaches us that we can't run from G-d, and that in the end, G-d can forgive us.

4. Did you ever thing about how much Pinnochio is like the story of creation / Jonah? Gepetto (G-d) creates Pinnochio (Adam) out of wood (something from the earth). Pinnochio is swallowed by the whale (FISH) (Jonah reference). Pinnochio is saved by Gepetto (G-d) and is turned into a real boy (given a soul). Cra-zy!

5. In the Tanach, right after the Shema comes the Ve'ahavta. So where does that second line come from? (You know, Baruch shem k'vod...) Moses stole that line from the angels! So, technically, when we say the Shema we're supposed to whisper the second line. Only on Yom Kippur, when we're allowed/supposed to act like the angels (a longer story) do we get to say the second line just as loud as the first!

6. Now, the best part. How do dinosaurs fit into the Tanach?? When you read the english translation it says something along the lines of "big creeping creatures" were created on the 5th (?) day. Apparently, the word (in transliteration) hit-ni'nim really means something more like LIZARDS. That means, giant lizards aka DINOSAURS were created on the 5th day. And I was trying to figure out how it works, like, when do the dinosaurs die and such (because they obv have to die before adam is created) and scholars translate a "day" to really be more like "millions of years", THEREFORE the dinosaurs could've been killed off sometime between the 5th and 6th day.

Wow I amuse myself to no end.....

Ulpan Final Tomorrow

so obviously i'm avoiding it and rather than study i'm playing with the internet :)

i sent out my weekly update yesterday but forgot to mention a very special person who has just entered my life... my new suitemate! and she's definitely special... in that clean-freak way.. she came to visit the apartment on sunday and i could immediately tell that she was judging it... BARUCH HASHEM i swept the floor earlier that day... she peeked here and there, looking in the fridge and the bathroom... i couldn't really "get" her in those few minutes, but i definitely knew something was up...

she started moving things in yesterday (monday) and was very concered with what was mine and what wasn't... she wanted to know what was mine so that she could throw EVERYTHING else away... everything... luckily i saved most of the pots and utensils... she also started planning out the new kitchen... as in where to put the microwave (because if we just put it on the table, it would get oil on it from the stove top... ??!?!?!)... i mean, i have no complaints about now being in possession of a microwave and sandwhich maker... but i'm almost afraid to use them!

in the last 24 hours she has washed the floors, bleached the kitchen sink and whole bathroom, scrubbed the refrigerator, and thrown out everything i didn't claim... and that's just in the common area... who knows what else she did in her own room or while i was gone.... did i mention that as soon as she entered the apartment she put on those yellow rubber gloves?? and, when i got back from Torah study tonight, i came back to find my toothbrush/toothpaste/floss/eyeliners all in their own separate plastic bags next to the sink.

of course, since i'm a horrible person, i made sure not to clean up the 2 foot prints i left when i got out of the shower.... it's going to be a *FUN* semester :) :)

Dance Party

It's nice to finally be spending a weekend here in Be'ersheva!! After class and leftover pizza lunch, Rachel and I hit up the pool for some swimming/tanning/relaxing. Got some AMAZING falafel with her and Becca at this little place on the other side of campus. We caught the guy right before he closed and he took out a table and chairs for us and made us food. 14 Shek for falafel and a drink. Such a fantastic deal, and it was definitely the best falafel I've had so far in Israel. We watched some Sex and the City and when Scott and Amanda joined us we put together a dance party. Made drinks, turned off the lights, and danced like crazy people. Between me and Becca we had enough amazing music to put-together a really fun dance mix. Eventually we were also joined by Alex and Brodie. Such a fantastic (and tipsy) night. This morning Dotan (my madrich) woke me up to ask if I could go get Alex's phone from outside. Normally I would've not been ok with that, but Rachel called 5 minutes later to wake me up and get my ass to the pool. Quick trip to the merkolet (small, but decent, market in my dorm) to get food for shabbos dinner. Pool for a few hours where I got burneddddddddd. Still fun. 20 minutes in the sun. Jump in the pool. Swim. Lay out next to the pool. Back in the pool. Out in the sun. Repeat. I definitely kept re-applying sunscreen, but apparently not enough. Just finished making a salad and some guacomole for shabbos dinner. Found some frozen borekas in my freezer that I need to cook at Rachel's place. After Shabbos we're going to try and go to a dance bar. Sweeeeet. Tomorrow I *need* to do laundry. Or I could just hippy it. Hmm.

Yallabye.